Friday, January 15, 2016

Reality Check

After being in Haiti for two weeks the reality of it all is starting to hit me. I remember at the beginning of the trip I had multiple people ask me how are you doing? Is Haiti overwhelming you? I had thought no I am fine. After two weeks my opinion on this question has completely changed. I have noticed that the first week I was very oblivious to certain things. I didn't realize the harsh reality of living in Haiti. As I am staying at the hotel I am not even experiencing the reality of Haiti. I was walking down the streets today and seeing the homes they live in. I was noticing the lifestyle that they live.

I was sitting at the orphanage today and noticing the daily struggle these kids go through. First of all they don't have a parent. They have no one to comfort them when they are having a bad day or no way to praise them on the good days. One of the little girls today had the flu. I looked over and saw her crying because her head hurt and she didn't feel well. A little while later I saw her outside throwing up. My heart absolutely broke and melted at the same time. All of the little girls were around her trying to comfort her but she didn't have a parent there to help her.  Haley and I headed over to where she was and tucked her into a bed. All the other orphan girls were around her wrapping her in a blanket and cleaning up her vomit. We gave her some medicine in hopes that it may make her feel better. It was hard because what happens when we leave? I wish someone was there to comfort her through the night. Being sick is no fun. Being sick at an orphanage cannot make it any better.

Today we also saw them take baths for the first time. They do not have running water at the orphanage so they take baths with a sponge and a bucket. A couple of days ago I was complaining about the fact that I had to take a cold shower and all I wanted was a nice warm shower. These kids have never had a shower. It breaks my heart thinking about that. As I looked over at them showering I noticed that the two girls were laughing and giggling and that part melted my heart. I mean these kids come from nothing but they make the most of every situation. They honestly make me feel guilty about all the things that I have. I feel like I have no right to complain about the life I live. I want to show them the life I have!

So far this trip has been a truly eye opening experience. It has shown me to take nothing for granted. It has shown me to make the most of every situation. It has shown me that the life that I live is amazing. I have been blessed beyond belief. I have a family that is always there for me. I have parents that have never gave up on me and have been by my side even when I wanted to give up on life. Somedays I walk away from the orphanage wanting to cry. I just want to take all these kids home and give them a great life. Reality check. I really can't take them all home but for the time being I can show them love. I can be there when they are having a bad day. I can play games with them. Its so hard seeing the kids just sit there bored with nothing to do. I just want to take them home and give them all the toys they need. I never realized how blessed I was when I was growing up.

As I look back on all that I have experienced I have realized how blessed I have been. As I look towards the future I am scared. I don't know how I am ever going to say goodbye to these sweet little faces in a week. I don't know how I am going to be able to return back to normal life without thinking about them. It has made me realize that I need to appreciate the opportunity I have been given and learn from these kids. I will add pictures later the internet is real slow tonight!

With Love,
Abby

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